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The Power of "Thank You"
When did you last show appreciation to your partner?
Linda Hung
May 08, 2024 • Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes
Wednesday We’s
The Power of “Thank You”
We appreciate our partners but how exactly do we express our appreciation towards them? Today we’re exploring how we can express this to them to make them feel appreciated (and foster a stronger connection with each other)
Today’s Topics:
The 5 Love Languages
Gratitude is a Present
How to foster communicating gratitude with your partner
Question for you
The 5 Love Languages
Gary Chapman published “The Five Love Languages” which has revolutionized how people carry themselves in a relationship. The 5 love languages are different ways people show love towards their partners which boil down to: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Gift Giving. Today we’ll be focusing solely on “Words of Affirmation” so feel free to find out more with the link above!
When I first started dating my boyfriend, he told me that Words of Affirmation were high up for him and that he wanted me to practice it more with him. Coming from an Asian family, words of affirmation are completely nonexistent and I had no clue how to give OR receive them. Still, for the sake of our relationship, I practiced, and I sure got amazing at it. Along the journey, I also realized the power of words of affirmation and have grew a great appreciation towards it.
Gratitude is a Present
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it."
Feeling genuine gratitude is a gift, but showing it to your partner is more important. If you don’t express your gratitude to your partner, they won’t know how you feel. If they don’t know how you feel, how will they know if you love them?
As I progressed through my relationship, my boyfriend would say “Thank you for cooking” every day after I cooked. I would thwart it away, thinking that it was my duty, but as time passed I felt the weight of the words. I started to realize I wasn’t getting taken for granted. The “Thank You” touched me and reached to the bottom of my heart.
Wrap your gratitude into a present, and most importantly, gift it to your partner. Make them feel appreciated.
Fostering Gratitude Communication
Gift wrap that gratitude and give it to your partner!
Now, if you have already been giving the wonderful present of gratitude to your partner, keep continuing!
But, if you have never done it before with your partner and you start doing it, they’ll most likely be weirded out by this new “habit” you’re trying to build (when you just want to improve the relationship!)
So, here are 7 steps to start implementing communicating gratitude with your partner:
Communicating Gratitude from Scratch:
Introduce the Concept of Gratitude:
Discuss the importance of gratitude in relationships and how it can enhance emotional connection and appreciation with your partner.
Practice Words of Affirmation:
Encourage both partners to practice giving words of affirmation regularly, even if it's not their primary love language.
Be specific and genuine in expressing gratitude for actions and efforts (e.g., "Thank you for doing xyz").
Acknowledge Efforts and Develop Positive Habits:
Notice and acknowledge each other's efforts, especially when they align with relationship goals or positive behaviors.
Use positive reinforcement by expressing gratitude for desired habits and behaviors, which can encourage their continuation.
Maintain Consistency and Conscious Effort:
Make gratitude a conscious effort in daily interactions rather than a scheduled task.
Avoid taking gestures of appreciation for granted and consistently express gratitude for efforts, big or small.
Encourage Open Communication and Feedback:
Create a space for open communication about gratitude practices and their impact on the relationship.
Provide and receive feedback on how expressions of gratitude are received and how they contribute to alignment and emotional connection.
Reflect on Growth and Improvement:
Regularly reflect on personal growth in expressing gratitude and improvements in acknowledging each other's efforts.
Celebrate milestones and achievements in developing a deeper appreciation and understanding of each other.
Emphasize Meaningful Gratitude Expressions:
Encourage meaningful expressions of gratitude by specifying what the gratitude is for (e.g., "Thank you for making dinner tonight" instead of just "Thank you").
Reply back to the email and let me know how it went.
Question for You
When was the last time you made your partner feel appreciated?
I’m not the best cleaner, so I would prefer to not need to deal with shower curtains that have grown mildew. I’ve noticed that my boyfriend would leave the shower curtains closed after showering, leaving the water in between the curtains — which causes more mildew. When I brought up to him that I would like him to leave the curtains open so that the curtains could dry faster, I also acknowledged that this is not a habit that he’s used to.
Whenever I noticed that he did it, I would run up to him and say “Thank you for leaving the curtains open”
And guess what — he does it every time after he showers now!
Make sure you make your partner feel appreciated — small habits will change faster over time
That’s all for this Wednesday We. Reply to this e-mail any findings you have and let me know what topics you would like me to explore!
In the meantime, Stay Smiling 😊
Linda
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