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Are You Strengthening or Weakening Your Loved Ones?
Linda Hung
May 29, 2024 • Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes
Wednesday We’s
Are You Strengthening or Weakening Your Loved Ones?
When a loved one is suffering, we suffer too. It’s tempting to want to help them out of their funk, give them the right answer, and save them from their misery, but this creates more harm than good.
Today’s Topics:
Strengthen instead of Protecting
Empowering Love Framework
Question to ask your partner
Strengthen instead of Protecting
“…strengthen and encourage those who are committed to your care instead of protecting them to the point of weakness.”
It’s hard to watch a loved one suffer. We always want the best for the people we love but sometimes protecting and sheltering your loved ones can do more harm than good.
Overprotective parenting has been shown to pose negative effects on their children some being low self-esteem, prone to anxiety and depression, people-pleasing tendencies, and an inability to be authentic. As much as parents want to dote and protect their children from the crazy world, kids need to learn how to be themselves and suffer to develop into adults.
Overprotectiveness not only can be shown in parenthood but also in romantic relationships. Insecurities can get in the way of wanting your partners to do what they need to do to grow. At any point in time, overprotectiveness trains others to become weak rather than stronger.
Reflect: Have you been overprotected? Have you been overprotecting someone else?
Empowering Love Framework
We all want to show love, let’s show it properly
It’s hard to see your loved ones suffer and it’s tempting to want to give them the right answer to show our support. At the end of the day, people need to make mistakes and learn from them in order to grow as human beings, and allowing them to get hurt and recover from wounds is the key to letting people grow.
Love is a double-edged sword. When used right, it can be the most empowering weapon. When used wrong, it can cause an unbelievable burden for the other person. I’ve developed 6 actions to help provide empowering love to your loved ones
Empowering Love Framework:
1. Encourage Self-Discovery and Independence
Action: Ask thoughtful questions to help them uncover their true desires and passions. Pay attention to what brings them joy and support their pursuit of these interests.
Example: Instead of telling them what to do, ask, “What makes you feel most alive?” or “What do you enjoy doing the most?” This encourages them to reflect on their own preferences.
2. Provide Balanced Support
Action: Check in with them periodically and offer your support without overwhelming them. Respect their need for space when they request it.
Example: Say, “I’m here if you need anything, but I also understand if you need some time alone. Just let me know what you prefer.”
3. Encourage Learning from Mistakes
Action: Normalize making mistakes and emphasize the importance of learning from them. Recognize changes in their behavior and use these moments as opportunities to check in.
Example: “It’s okay to make mistakes; what’s important is what we learn from them. I’ve noticed you seem a bit different lately, is everything alright?”
4. Foster Problem-Solving Skills
Action: Instead of giving direct advice, ask questions that help them think through their problems and develop their own solutions.
Example: “What do you think could be a possible solution to this issue?” or “How do you think you can approach this problem?”
5. Give Constructive and Supportive Feedback
Action: Ensure they are open to receiving feedback before offering it. Focus on their intentions and offer suggestions that align with their goals.
Example: “Would you like some feedback on this?” or “I see your intention is to achieve X, maybe you could try Y to help with that.”
6. Celebrate Efforts and Achievements
Action: Acknowledge and celebrate their efforts and successes, big or small. Recognize the value of the journey, not just the outcome.
Example: “I’m so proud of you for taking on this challenge. What did you learn from this experience?”
Comment: What is your favorite out of these 6? Are their any more that you do?
Question to Ask Your Loved Ones
“What is one thing you’re passionate about that you’d like to pursue more, and how can I support you in that journey?"
Don’t assume that you know what your loved ones want. Opening this topic can allow meaningful conversations to begin and help foster a deeper connection with your loved ones.
Write down your new learnings to help solidify what you have learned!
That’s all for this Wednesday We. Reply to this e-mail any findings you have and let me know what topics you would like me to explore!
In the meantime, Stay Smiling 😊
Linda
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