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How to Drop Negative Friendships

No more negativity in your life!

Author

Linda Hung
September 18, 2024 • Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes

Wednesday We’s

How to Drop Negative Friendships

People talk about surrounding yourself with positive relationships, but no one ever talks about dropping negative relationships. Today we will be exploring the impacts of holding onto negative friendships and how to process a “friend breakup”

Today’s Topics:

  • The Negativity Influencer

  • Some Friends are History, Not Destiny

  • Processing and Dropping Friendships

  • Question for you to ask partner

  • Last Wed We — “Are They The One?”

The Negativity Influencer

I had a friend, I'll call her “G.”

G confided in me how she struggled to make friends, and her old friends had dropped her. She seemed like an alright person, so I invited her into my friend group, and she quickly bonded with them as well. For a while, I thought our friendship was strong. But after three years, I was proved wrong.

Our conversations often revolved around negativity—constantly shit-talking people in our group. Without even realizing it, I joined in, spreading negativity to other areas of my life. At first, I didn’t see the harm in it. But little did I know, she was talking behind my back too.

Soon, I noticed I judged every person in my life negatively, quickly noticing any flaws. G's constant negativity rubbed off on me, and I wasn't proud of the person I was becoming.

I felt torn.

Knowing her history, I didn’t want to be another "old friend who dropped her."

But I also knew I needed to reclaim positivity in my life again.

Dropping this friendship was hard. It affected the group dynamics, but it allowed me to invite positivity back into my life. As a result, some of my friends followed suit.

This experience reminded me of something crucial: the energy you allow into your circle will inevitably affect your own.

Surrounding myself with more supportive, positive people has been one of the most freeing experiences I’ve had, and it all started with making a tough decision to walk away.

Some Friends Are History, Not Destiny

Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.

Steve Maraboli

The friendships you have presently are real and true, but they don’t have to be a part of our future. Knowing when to walk away from a friendship means you won’t let your friendships define your future.

Processing and Dropping Friendships

Walking away from a friendship is difficult. I also believe it’s worse than a romantic breakup. But dropping friendships is more than cutting ties, it’s also about processing the emotions that come with it and moving forward with intention.

3 Steps to Processing and. Dropping Friendships:

  1. Recognize the Patterns:

    • How does your friend’s energy affect you?

    • Do you feel uplifted or drained after spending time with them?

    • Are there recurring behaviors (negativity, lack of respect, gossip) that continuously harm your mental or emotional well-being?

  2. Reflect on the Relationship:

    • What role do you play in the dynamic?

    • Are you contributing to the negativity or have you tried setting boundaries?

    • How much energy are you putting into maintaining the friendship?

    • Is it being reciprocated in a way that brings positivity?

  3. Release and Rebuild:

    • Once you’ve identified a friendship that isn’t serving you, decide if it's time to take a step back. Be intentional about how you distance yourself, whether it’s through a direct conversation or a gradual reduction in contact.

    • Give yourself space to heal. It’s okay to grieve the loss of a friendship, but reflect on the positive changes that come from creating space for relationships that uplift you.

Through conscious reflection, you can create relationships that benefit you rather than harm you.

Take some time to think about the closest people you surround yourself with.

Question for you to journal

What qualities do you want in your friendships, and how do your current friends align with that vision?

Knowing what qualities you want in a friendship can help guide you to finding friends that fit that vision. It’s important to stay true to yourself and to honor the energy you want in your life.

Reflect: and reply to this e-mail what your findings are

In Case You Missed it…

On our last Wednesday We, we talked about “the one” and how to identify if someone is “the one.” Matthew Hussey has developed 4 Levels of Importance when deciding how sustainable a relationship is:

Level 1 — Admiration

Level 2 — Connection

Level 3 — Commitment

Level 4 — Compatibility

Learn more about the 4 Levels of Importance here.

Read more Monday Me Posts for alignment techniques for “Me” and Wednesday We Posts for connection tips for “We”!

That’s all for this Wednesday We. Reply to this e-mail any findings you have and let me know what topics you would like me to explore!

In the meantime, Stay Smiling 😊

Linda

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